Everyone Communicates Few Connect
Have you seen the recent video of a Dad and his son "talking" that's had over 100,000,000 views on various outlets? Dad, DJ Pryor when interviewed on Good Morning America said that he and his son have always had these types of conversations. When asked why he thought this was such a hit, DJ said, "you just see a father connecting with his son and this resonated with people." But, how can the father and son communicate when the young son can't even talk? This leads to the second checker on the way to our "Connect Four" of connecting with people in our daily conversations.
Checker Two: Connecting is way more than words
Obviously the father and son in the video are talking with way more than words.
It is commonly said that, "it's not just what you say, but it's how you say it that matters." Usually this leads to conversations about how important the non-verbals are in a conversation, your tone, eye contact, hand gestures, an open stance and more. Although all of these are important in conversation what I want to focus on goes deeper.
Think of someone you know who has the great ability to connect with others in daily conversation.
If it isn't just about words, what do they have? How would you describe it? I have heard it said that they just have this great presence about them, this charisma, or they have a great personality that connects to almost everyone. The problem with this is that we tend to think then that you either have it or you don't. I don't have an outgoing personality, so I can't connect deeply with others.
I want to suggest today, that it is not primarily about personality, but rather it is more about attitude. Usually those with this "presence" have an attitude that puts others first, they pay attention to you when they are talking, they listen well and they exude an honest and authentic caring for you.
Whatever is inside of you, whether positive or negative, will eventually come out when you are communicating to others. That comes across and impacts the way others react to you. People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. That will either enable you to connect with people and win them over, or it will alienate them and cause you to lose them. John Maxwell
So, how do you connect at a deeper level with those you talk with?
A great start is a positive attitude, while believing in and focusing on others, all with a willingness to be open and authentic. If you give others appropriate opportunities to feel what you feel, then it is more likely that others will connect with you at a deeper level.
Here is to a positive attitude that exudes out of us, and permeates those around us,
Troy Vande Lune
Big Rock Leader